What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
