I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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