I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
