Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
