How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize