I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
