It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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