remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
