And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
