**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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