We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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