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Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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