I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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