Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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