the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
