When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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