Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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