we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
