you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
