Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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