Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
