I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
