so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
