I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize