Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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