he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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