apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize