You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize