We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
