I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
