..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
