I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
