dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize