Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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