There is no way he is gay with that hair.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
