I just pynch a tree in the face
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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