do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
