so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
