And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
