We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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