like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
