Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
