Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
