Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
