no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
