Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
