New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize