yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
