Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We have started to decorate penises.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
