2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
