Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
