He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize