Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Randomize
