Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
