I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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