hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
