I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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