it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
