My sheets look like a crime scene.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
